Back in the old times, there was this thing called chivalry– Men behaving courteously towards women – holding the door for them, offering them their jackets when it’s cold, opening the car door, bringing flowers, etc.
Many women that I talk to consider chivalry a lost art.
It would be so easy just to blame men and say they lost their manners, but in fact, like most of the time – the truth is somewhere in the middle.
So what changed and why?
I hear more and more women complaining about men’s lack of manners, me being one of them.
Men will explain that Chivalry died with the rise of modern concepts like feminism and the belief that women need to be equally placed as men. Truth be told, as women became more and more empowered in their workplaces, I think society saw less and less basis to support males’ traditional chivalry acts towards females.
Women fought for years for their rights, and I applaud that.
Thank God for brave women and trendsetters like Coco Chanel, Marie Curie, Mother Teresa, Oprah, Malala, and so many more that stood out to fight for our rights. Thanks to them we have so much freedom and power today.
Times have changed, chivalry and dating etiquette have transitioned and somehow adapted to the modern century.
We were not in the middle age when chivalry was a strict code of conduct or in the 1960s when men behaved like true gentlemen, and we were pushed to adopt the current trends.
What it means to be a woman has changed.
And what it means to be a man is changing too.
But that doesn’t mean that you can’t treat women with care and respect.
I already know that feminists will disagree with me as I am talking now from the perspective of a woman that wants to be taken care of.
It’s not like my expectations are for someone to pay my rent, trips, and groceries but to be nice, considerate, protect and pamper me. What is wrong with that?
Opinions on this are split. I have girlfriends that crave this and others that are very clear that they don’t need it.
Personally, I do. I like it. No, in fact, I LOVE it.
Don’t you think it’s nice and sweet when you are being taken care of?
And again, I know we can move mountains if we want to but at least sometimes allow ourselves to be, not weak nor helpless, but softer, more malleable. Just let him be the man for once.
For the record, I personally think that chivalry is not dead. Men are less courteous, but it still exists because I know that there are still amazing men out there. I dated one recently, and it was unbelievably amazing. Unfortunately, he lost his job and had to go back to Europe and our relationship was in a too early stage to leave with him.
That man – he was not the only one actually – proved to me (again) that there is hope.
But I also allowed him to do nice things for me. I did as well. However, he was always the caring one, and I allowed him to spoil me and make me feel like a queen.
What I Appreciate And What Chivalry Is For Me
- You can still hold the door for me or open the car door
- When you make plans respect that
- Rather call than text
- Communicate and show me that you care
- If the case check if I reached home safe
- When we are out, don’t constantly check your phone.
- Bring ideas to the table for dates
- Pick me up regardless if I drive or not
- Pay the restaurant bill – at least for the first few dates
- Check on me
- At the restaurant, let me order first
What would you add to my list?