Man and woman fighting

Men and Women, A Continuous Misunderstanding
How can we make things better

I recently reached my 40s, have been through a lot, have plenty of experience in relationships, and understand both male and female psychology.

Nonetheless, this question doesn’t seem to stop bothering me – Men and Women, why is there always a continuous misunderstanding? Was it always such a disaster? And what went so wrong?

Everywhere I have been, lived, and traveled, all I have constantly seen is tomatoes thrown with hate from each side of the fence, and like it’s like an arena full of blood.

Women are blaming men, and men are blaming women. Everybody is unhappy. Well, correction. I have examples of happy couples around me, and one of them was my parents. But still, there is so much hate and criticism floating in the air. 

Women blame men for being cheaters, liars, and unreliable. Men blame women for acting cheap, being too flirty, and not marriage material anymore. And the list is so long and can go on and on.
Men Are Bitter. Women Are Miserable. 
It feels like a war zone, but in the end, no one ever wins.

A battleship that never seems to end. 

So much hate, lack of trust, and disappointment. It makes my heart cry. When we should love and cherish each other in the best possible way. 

We end up saying, I am better off alone. I agree entirely in the context of better be alone rather than in the wrong relationship or with the wrong partner’.

But this I would rather be alone has a new meaning nowadays and is scary. Men are saying all women are bitches and women, on the other hand all men are assholes.

I frequently talk to men and women, and all I hear is each side bashing the other and saying. You can’t find a decent guy or girl anymore. I will never trust anyone again.

The sad reality is that there is some truth in all these complaints. 

Firstly, society evolved to encourage you to be more individualistic. You don’t need someone to hold your hand, and you can just love and embrace yourself. WTF! Yeah, you should damn learn to accept yourself, love yourself, and know how to spend time alone as well. But you can’t hug yourself at night. Neither a career, money, or friends. We are built to be with someone and live as a couple. Period. 

Secondly, we become so damn sensitive and weak that once we are hit by romantic disappointment, we will end up grieving forever and ever. If we can take it when life hits us on other levels, why don’t we do it when heartbroken. A broken heart is meant to be fixed, and it takes time, true, but it is possible. 

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.
Nothing further from the truth. And there will always be misunderstandings between us as we have very different ways of communicating and putting things into perspective.

The issue is that there is not just a lack of understanding we are talking about, and it’s so much hate.

So what is the solution? I doubt the answer is to whine and become like a wall. This is the right way to miss potential romantic opportunities and a fulfilled life. 

I have been heartbroken several times and deeply disappointed. Sometimes, I didn’t leave my bed, and I stayed in front of an open window, smoking and thinking or crying. It took me weeks to get back on track and feel better. But I never said that all men are the same or that I will never love again. What I dealt with does not define all males in the universe. I don’t even consider myself as being unlucky. I just got experience. 

Our world is yin and yang, and there will always be a dark, ugly side. But don’t let yourself be carried away by this. 

What Can We Do To Make Things Better

  • Be kinder with each other 
  • Listen first and judge later. Or don’t judge at all. Everyone has a past, a story, and a reason 
  • Have patience 
  • Be more loyal and faithful 
  • Communicate 
  • Don’t be just a taker. Be a giver as well
  • Compromise a little bit here and there
  • Show some flexibility 
  • Give it another chance. We all make mistakes 
  • Go to therapy – if needed. And no, there is no shame 
  • Work on yourself 

Call me unrealistic, a utopian dreamer, but I still believe in true honest love. I believe in being more gentle with each other, less judgemental, and more understanding. 

Love is the universal power, the glue that keeps us together, united, and in peace. 

What do you think men and women should do to have more meaningful relationships?

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