I downloaded the Tinder App on my phone in 2013 or 2014 when I lived in Berlin, Germany. Never went out with anyone. When I moved in #mydubai in July 2015, I finally had my first Tinder date, which turned out great. Reading below, you will see why I will actually not do it again.
Let’s Go Deeper Into The Story To Understand What Happened, How I Feel Right Now, And What Is My Advice.
If I was not traveling for work in Germany, I was bored. The people around me were super friendly, but the lifestyle was so not my thing. So 1-2 years before leaving Berlin, I decided to give Tinder a try.
I got to talk to a couple of guys but never actually dated anyone. The language was not a barrier in this case but what I mainly got from most men was Come to my place tonight and let’s have some wine.
To be very frank, it scared the shit out of me as my paranoid mind though If I go to any guy’s place, a someone that I have no idea about, maybe he is there with 20 other guys, and instead of having a pleasant conversation over a glass of wine, it will all end up with a nice rape. And who’s fault is that? The girl who came in late in the evening to a stranger’s apartment …
Of course, anything wrong can happen after any random date, but jumping into a stranger’s apartment and right after in his bed was a risk I would not take – out of the question.
So all this was a major red flag; therefore, it never happened. Well, as I am narrating in Thank You Berlin, the dating scene in Germany, in general, is pretty disastrous, or at least for me, the experience was not very successful anyway.
Once I moved to Dubai, things seemed to be very different. As soon as I was here, it was not difficult to go out with men, date, and have fun. Initially, I saw someone for a few months that turned out to be a big waste of time. So 3 months after moving to the sandpit, I found myself on Tinder again, looking for some new dating opportunities.
And here we go. After a few other psychopaths inviting me to their house for wine in the middle of the night, I started chatting with a Jordanian guy that seemed to be really ok and polite. The conversation was interesting and engaging at the same time.
Eventually, he asks me out, comes to pick me up, and takes me to … Iris. I thought the idea was very original, especially since I was very new in Dubai and wasn’t there yet. Iris goes to Iris 😀
Long story short, we were dating for about 3 months. The guy took me out to incredible places, introduced me to his group of friends, courted me, and picked me up whenever needed. We had a great time together. Eventually, we stopped talking as we wanted different things.
My point is that it turned out that – at least at that time – on Tinder, you can still find educated, mannered, and cool attractive men eligible to date.
I have also heard about examples of people who met on Tinder and lived happily ever after. One of them being one of my best friends. In 2020 while the dating scene was more challenging due to all those horrible Covid restrictions, she met this guy that is heaven. They are still together after almost 2 years, and as I see it, they will grow old together.
But these are exceptions. Rare exceptions.
WHY I WILL NOT DO IT AGAIN
Like everything that turned digital in this century, there are always benefits, and in this case, it’s the fact that online dating apps make our life easier. I don’t have to dress up and all and go with the girls at a lounge, bar, or club and eventually not find anything.
Or maybe I work in an environment where I don’t meet any men (for example).
But the issue is that as long as we can swipe right and left so fast from the comfort of our couch while we are shopping for a date, we expect that everything else will be easy. And this is where the tragedy comes.
Women became easy, their standards are low, and men are careless assholes.
This is why I will never do it again.
By the way, the most ironic part is that our grandparents didn’t have access to the technology we have today, and they managed to find each other and live in a couple until death set them apart, for better and for worse.
On the flip side, our generation has so many options, and we meet so many people (online and physical), and we are shitting our pants in front of the words commitment and we lack entirely manners.
Everything we want is fast: fast dates, fast-talks, fast sex. This is so downgrading and worse – we are downgrading ourselves.
Isn’t it heartbreaking?
So should we give online dating a try? Don’t expect me to say no because you are so wrong. Yes, we should all give it a try. If you don’t test the waters, you don’t know. I tried a few times, and it is definitely not for me.
If you test it, you will understand how the online dating scene operates. Plus, there is that 0,00000001% chance to meet the right one 😀 And there are a few other chances to meet some decent guys like I met the Jordanian one.
My Advice For You If You Are Using The Dating Apps
- Use them less. Don’t forget about the traditional way people used to (Thank God still do!) meet during a night out, at work, or through mutual connections such as family or friends.
- If on Tinder or any other dating app and all you meet is douchebags or gold-diggers (it’s not easy for the guys either), don’t compromise, not even if your hormones are screaming. Set boundaries and raise your standards.
- Be careful. I don’t know why I always had high doubts about the quality of people being on dating apps. Yeah, I am one of them, well, WAS but fair enough. However, I am a woman, and I feel more exposed to meeting dudes that I have never seen in my life. I didn’t meet them in person before or were not introduced by people I know.
- Stay active in the real world too. Leave the couch and go out. Perhaps join a community. There are so many in Dubai and in this whole wide world. My recommendations are salsa, CrossFit, horse riding, tango, and tennis. But of course, the list is endless.
What was your first Tinder or online date? What are your thoughts about online dating?