A few years ago, while having a cup of coffee, I wondered what makes me happy. And If I make a top with the best things in life, with what makes me enjoy and gives me pleasure, what would that list look like? So I came up with ➝
For a moment, I hesitated if I should instead put sex on number two because I love food, but I was like, nahhh I would rather starve. True story.
Before I dig in, I want to underline that this article is different from what you will find on the internet. I am not a doctor nor a scientist, and it’s out of my expertise to come up with medical advice. All I am discussing below is a personal belief and what I have seen around me in the last 20-25 years.
Undoubtedly sex is work in progress, and nobody knows what to do in the beginning. Yes, we all watch porn before, kiss, and make out. But getting to see what you like and what you don’t, what you need or not, takes years of practice, with one partner or more.
I lost my virginity at 20. Pretty late in my culture. But I did it when I felt ready. No pressure, no rush. And If I look back, I have to say that I started to explore and understand my sexuality better only around my 30s. And from there, I kept going. Now at 40, damn! It is better than ever. And it has been like this for the last few years. Don’t get me wrong, it was always good for me, and God blessed me (if I can say this :D) with “good” partners (probably 95%)
And that’s very interesting as in my 20s I thought by 40 you are in an advanced state of decomposing :)) and sex would belong forgotten or practiced.
Sex is not just about reproduction. It’s a part of our lifestyle as that cherry on the pie completes the whole. Having a regular sex life is healthy, and there should be no shame in having the desire to keep it like that. I knew and heard about so many women that think sex is bad and dirty, especially before marriage, because this is what society and their families taught them.
I heard even worse – having sex in between relationships makes you cheap and sluty, and sex without feelings has no quality and is wrong. Well, sex + feelings are always better but realistically and statistically speaking, we won’t get this all the time. And honestly, raw sex can be so amazing – many sometimes.
I noticed that many single women if they dare to have different partners in between relationships, are afraid they will be judged or labeled. I say, the hell with that!
You are single, remember? What you do is your business and only yours.
There is nothing wrong with it as long as it is not promiscuous and not hurting anyone.
We are entitled to have a professional life, a social life, date, and meet people, so we are allowed to have an active ongoing sexual life too.
Remember when talking about sex and sexuality issues was taboo, and we would rather hide and pretend like everything was perfect? People, especially women, were filled with shame instead of openly discussing it and finding solutions.
Thankfully today, we are more open talking about sex, and we have more courage to ask for help and admit that we have a problem (when the case) or just say: Fuck it, I love sex, and I am happy to enjoy a regular sex life with one or more partners – depending on the situation.
There are two angles to explore here, and they both come with challenges.
Sex life for singles
My philosophy is very simple. As long as you have no obligations and no one to give explanations to, you are free as a bird. And if anyone is judging, this is not your business. Your job is to live your life on your own terms and pursue whatever makes you happy. Period.
The problem here is that maintaining a consistent sexual life can be frustrating and challenging because we are in between relationships. I mean, who wants to get laid every three months. And when it finally happens, it’s bad. It sucks. Also, it’s not like we meet someone we jump with them in bed straight away. Ok, men would :)), but women are still more selective and patient.
However, keep going and enjoy your single life.
Sex life for the committed ones
Being single seems tougher than when you don’t have a stable partner. You will laugh, but sometimes single people might have more sex than people in a partnership. Because when you are in a couple, the passion fades away, and routine comes in. And sadly, couples start neglecting this aspect of their lives and focusing on other things. Or they just don’t care about sex anymore that much.
I know many couples that had a very active sex life when they were dating. They got serious and married. At that moment, sex stopped. Not got less. Stopped. For me, this is a nightmare and a deep fear. And by the way, from what I noticed, one partner does not want it anymore, and the other one does. But the one who does choose not to have sex anymore. Terrible!
Millions of Reasons why having an active sexual life is healthy.
- An active sexual life positively impacts you as an individual, both mentally and physically.
- Sex builds and enhances intimacy and helps you connect with your partner.
- Getting to know your partner is not just about having an orgasm. It increases blood flow and releases natural pain-relieving chemicals.
- Experts say that you will also burn calories. Lol – I guess it’s true.
- Ultimately it boosts a good mood, reduces stress, gives you self-worth, and enhances your sleep.
And much MORE …
Sex is the juice of our lives! It keeps things going and makes us happy and complete – as a single or coupled.
Sex is a gift from God. Sex is more than physical touch, it is spirituality, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
I sincerely hope I have given you at least food for thought within this article.
How active is your sex life, and what do you do to keep it like that?